You can generally say no, and the cleanest way to say it is through a written facility use policy that ties building use to what your church teaches. Churches in the United States have broad protection for religious decisions about their own property, but that protection is strongest where the church has not turned the building into a rental hall open to all comers. Get the request in writing, get your policy in writing, and answer from the policy rather than from the argument.
What is actually happening
A group is asking for your building, and the ask is doing two jobs at once. It wants the room, and it wants a precedent: a record that your church rents to whoever pays, so the next request cannot be refused without looking like bigotry rather than doctrine. If you say yes quietly to keep the peace, you have written the rule that will be used on you later. If you say no without a policy behind it, the refusal looks personal and arbitrary instead of doctrinal.
The hypocrisy indictment · Rule 4. This is Rule 4 — make the enemy live up to its own book of rules. The lever is not the event. It is the gap between a statement of faith on the website and a calendar that rents to anyone with a deposit. Where that gap is real, the tactic works; where the policy is explicit and applied evenly, it has nothing to grip.
What Scripture says
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Amos 3:3
What the book says · Chapter 17, The Mountain of Religion: Defending and Reclaiming Churches and Spiritual Organizations
“The primary defense against the hypocrisy indictment is precise definition, established before the attack arrives. Bylaws and statements of faith have to be explicit. Do not simply say you believe in justice. Define justice as the impartial application of God's moral law and explicitly reject the critical theory definition. Do not simply say you value inclusion. Define it as the welcoming of sinners to repentance rather than the affirmation of sin.”
From Rules for Radical Christians, quoted exactly.
What the law generally says
Churches in the United States generally have wide latitude under the First Amendment and under state religious freedom protections to decide who may use their buildings for purposes connected to their religious mission. Many states and cities also have public accommodation laws, and whether those laws reach a church building often depends on how the building is held out — a sanctuary used for worship and ministry is treated differently in many states than a hall advertised for commercial rental to the general public. Courts and agencies in many states give real weight to a written facility use policy that is grounded in the church's doctrine and applied consistently to every request. Some states also tie property tax exemptions to how a building is actually used, which is a separate question worth knowing about. The specifics turn on your state, and that is what Ask looks up.
The words to use
"Our building is used for ministry that agrees with our statement of faith, and our written facility use policy applies to every request the same way, including requests from our own members. I'm happy to send you the policy — can you tell me which part of it you believe your event meets?"
Your move
- Ask for the request in writing, including the date, the sponsoring group, the purpose of the event, and who will speak. Do not decide anything on a phone call.
- Pull your current facility use policy, bylaws, and statement of faith. Read them together and find out what they actually say today, not what you assume they say.
- If the policy is vague or silent, have the board adopt a clear one this week: use tied to the statement of faith, one written standard, same standard for members and outside groups, one person authorized to approve.
- Answer the request in writing, in one short paragraph, citing the policy and nothing else. No debate about the event itself.
- Have an attorney licensed in your state review the policy before the next request arrives, not after.
- Document every past rental for the last two or three years — who used the building, for what, and whether money changed hands. Consistency is your defense, and inconsistency is theirs.
- Ask for the group's written statement of purpose for the event. Put it in the file.
- Do not let one staff member or volunteer approve building use by text message. One written policy, one authorized signature.
Your situation, your state
This page is the general answer. Describe what is actually happening to you and Ask returns the answer for your situation and your state, with the law looked up and the exact words to use. Your first ask is free.
Ask about your situationNot legal advice. When it stops being a conversation, a lawyer licensed in your state is the next call.